


The Bench by the Pond

by phinnium



Series: Ribs [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio Angst, Kageyama Tobio Needs a Hug, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Mentioned Kageyama Kazuyo, POV Sugawara Koushi, Sugawara Koushi is a Good Friend, Sugawara Koushi-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phinnium/pseuds/phinnium
Summary: Sugawara didn't know what to make of Kageyama at first. Over time, he's warmed up to him.That warmth has now been poisoned with guilt.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Sugawara Koushi
Series: Ribs [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965403
Comments: 22
Kudos: 368





	1. First impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooooo we're back babeyyyyyy  
> and this time, it's suga taking the spotlight  
> I hope you enjoy!

When Sugawara first received word that a genius first year setter was going to join the team, he couldn't say that he was exactly overjoyed.

In the world of volleyball, 'genius' wasn't a term thrown around lightly, which meant that this new kid was clearly either already leagues above Suga, or it wouldn't be long until he was.

When Sugawara first met said genius first year setter, he was even less thrilled.

To start, the boy already had an advantage in his height (which frankly, Suga found rather unfair), but when he saw him actually play, the third year wasn't sure if he should feel jealous or amazed.

He decided that both was probably a safe middle ground.

Amazement, needless to say, showed itself far less often than jealousy did. At least to begin with. 

Kageyama, (he quickly learned that was the new setter's name, after hearing it screamed constantly in Hinata's high pitched, fury filled voice) in his defence, seemed like a fairly decent young man. Apart from his various arguments with the bouncy red head, he was polite, and seemed to show signs of giving the team no troubles other than the bickering the freak duo shared.

Within the first few days of knowing the ravenette, Tsukishima had completely destroyed the team's view of him.

A tyrannical King, he said.

Even though Suga couldn't say he liked the kid just yet, he didn't really see a tyrannical King _now_ , at least. Kageyama was clearly devastated, not to mention furious, that the blonde had revealed his secret to the rest of the team.

The third year didn't know if this so called 'king' was planning on going his whole high school career without anyone finding out, but he doubted that was the case.

After all, Tsukishima did say that he team had abandoned him in front of a crowd. And word spreads fast between teams.

Sugawara wasn't entirely sure how to feel, at that knowledge. He supposed he didn't feel much different to before. 

In his eyes, Kageyama hadn't changed. He was still a polite first year genius (that Suga was embarrassingly incredibly jealous of) and some back-story of dictatorship and tyranny wasn't going to change that.

Though, their first practice match as a team wasn't what Suga wanted it to be.

The other team -Aoba Johsai- had given one condition:

That Kageyama be their starting setter.

The third year was filled with a flurry of different emotions upon hearing the news, most of them shoving the urge to cry down his throat and lodging it there.

He had to admit, some of that urge came from that fact that Kageyama couldn't seem to stop stuttering out apologies, bowing so far that Suga was worried he might fall over. And upon seeing the wetness of Kageyama's own eyes, when they were alone in the club room, Suga couldn't help but feel worse, as he realised he had disregarded Kageyama's feelings in the matter.

He assumed the boy would be ecstatic to take his senpai's place.

Evidently not.

It appeared neither of them were particularly pleased about the situation. And if anything, the ravenette seemed more upset than Suga.

Well, that shouldn't really have been surprising, considering Seijoh harboured a fair few of Kageyama's old team mates.

The team mates who left him.

Yeah, he was fairly certain that Kageyama was feeling worse.

It really didn't much inspection to realise the first year wasn't very good with people. He was clearly trying, that much was obvious from the way he attempted to hand out compliments every so often.

Emphasis on 'attempt'.

Kageyama didn't like to beat around the bush with his phrasing, and sometimes the things he'd say would come across not at all how he intended, resulting in him mumbling an apology, clearly frustrated. Though he seemed to be frustrated with himself more than anyone else. Suga thought that was a little sad.

Now, he knew that the boy was supposed to be his rival, and if he was completely honest, shaking the jealousy he'd felt when he first met Kageyama was far more difficult than he thought it'd be, especially after the first year took his place as starting setter. Though seeing tears building in his kouhai's eyes as he apologised for something he had no control over, that snapped him out of it.

Kageyama was a polite first year genius, he seemed to want nothing more than to play volleyball, and to make his team mates happy. Or at least, make them not hate him.

Needless to say, he was succeeding so far.

Watching the ravenette put so much effort into changing from the King he had once been, it was endearing. At least to Suga.

He knew that the boy was supposed to be his rival, and many people had told him in the past to never share his secrets with his kouhai's, as they might one day surpass him with his own tricks. But in all honesty, Suga didn't really have any tricks.

He was just the average setter, with the ability to perhaps give people a little pick-me-up in the middle of matches.

But to Kageyama, his knowledge on effective communication, not to mention his experience could help the younger setter improve by miles. Not to mention, the knowledge that his senpai was supporting him without question, that would likely help the ravenette just as much as his actual advice would.

Eventually, after it had become clear that Sugawara wasn't going to be the starting setter again any time soon, he made up his mind. It wasn't likely he was going to continue volleyball as anything but a hobby into his adult life anyway, so there was no use in letting what little skill and technique he had go to waste.

He resolved to talk to Kageyama.

One Friday evening, as the team said their goodbyes outside the Sakanoshita shop, meat buns in hand, Suga approached the younger setter.

"Hey, Kageyama, have you got some time to talk?"

The boy straightened immediately, his usual scowl replaced with confusion and nervousness, "have I done something wrong?" He stuttered through his words.

Suga's eyes went wide, before he shook his head, "no, no! Not at all!" He rubbed the back of his neck, "I just wanted to discuss something with you."

The ravenette seemed to relax at that, even if it was only slightly, "yes, I have time."

Grinning, the third head turned, gesturing for the boy to follow, "I know a nice spot not far from here where we can sit."

He was expecting the boy to question him, but surprisingly he followed without a word.

They arrived at Suga's 'mystery location' not five minutes later.

Out of the corner of his eye, the setter could see his kouhai gazing around, taking in the new area.

It wasn't exactly a mind blowing place, it was just an old wooden bench that must've been placed years ago, stood overlooking a large pond, covered in a thin layer of algae and lily pads.

Suga spent a lot of time there growing up, spent with his siblings catching tadpoles and picking flowers. The winter was just as fun, as the water would freeze over, allowing them to walk over it and play even more games. He had good memories here.

"Nice, huh?" He smiled, parking himself on the old bench before patting the space next to him, encouraging Kageyama to do the same.

"It's very pretty," the boy responded, eyes still wide as his he continued to look around, planting himself beside the older boy.

It being early spring, the water of the pond was hidden underneath a thick layer of fog, the clouds dancing across the surface, swirling in mesmerising patterns. He couldn't help but agree with his kouhai.

"What did you want to talk to me about, senpai?"

Ah, yes. Suga had almost forgotten about that, having gotten lost in the world around him. He quickly gathered his thoughts.

"I was wondering if you'd... like any help? With volleyball?"

Not a very eloquent way of putting it, but he'd made his point none the less.

"With volleyball?" The ravenette echoed.

"Mhm," Suga hummed, "well, I know you don't exactly need much help with the sport itself. And I doubt there'd be much, if anything I could teach you that you don't already know."

Kageyama eyebrows furrowed, and he looked ready to retort before Suga raised his hand, silencing him.

" _But_ ," he continued, "it's come to my attention that you might need some help with you're communication skills."

Straightforward, and to the point. Just as Kageyama would have. So why did the boy suddenly look so sullen?

Suga scrambled to correct whatever mistake he'd made, "It's not that you're _not_ communicating. Because you are. And that is very much appreciated, but-"

"But I'm not very good at it."

Sugawara stared, his movements freezing.

"I know I'm not very good at it," he sighed, his warm breath clouding before dissipating in the breeze, "I would appreciate whatever help you can give me, Sugawara-san."

Well this was certainly not how he was expecting this conversation to go.

"You- you would?" He stuttered out, trying not to sound too surprised.

Kageyama nodded, remaining silent.

The older boy smiled, "well why don't we start with a few questions then?"

His kouhai tilted his head slightly, confusion painting his features before Suga continued, "What would you like to know?"

This was how their meetings became a regular occurrence.

Every Friday, after meat buns, the two would walk to the pond and rickety old bench, and talk. Sometimes it wasn't even about volleyball.

Every so often, a topic of conversation would spark up, and before they knew it, it was already time for them both to be heading home. It was nice.

It felt like he was finally properly getting to know one of his kouhai's.

Not that he didn't know any of his other underclassmen, in fact, he knew a fair amount about each of them. But he couldn't help but feel it was far more personal with Kageyama. Like he was the only person on the team that Kageyama talked to like this.

Apart from Hinata, that is.

Each person in the team had already placed their bets as to which of the two would confess first. Of course, Suga had placed bets on Hinata. There was no way Kageyama was ever going to confess. Suga thought it was likely he wouldn't even be able to identify that what he was feeling was a crush.

But watching the two dance around each other, neither of them quite understanding their feelings was rather amusing.

Overtime, Suga and Kageyama became closer.

Though he wasn't entirely sure how the ravenette felt about the situation.

Suga gathered he was more of the lone wolf type, choosing to spend his time alone rather than with others. And don't get him wrong, that was perfectly fine. If that was what the younger boy preferred, then he had no qualms with it.

So Suga wasn't quite sure if the first year had felt forced into spending time with his senpai, rather than offered the choice. As much as the silver haired boy wanted to get to know Kageyama, he didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Though he supposed bringing these particular worries up would only make the setter _more_ uneasy.

But his worries were soon crushed anyway, when on one fateful Friday, Kageyama approached him as usual. Upon noticing the scowl that generally resided on the ravenette's face was instead replaced with an almost troubled expression, Sugawara knew something was off.

They made their way to the bench in silence, Kageyama walking a pace or two behind the older boy.

They got to the bench.

They sat down.

Neither said a word.

Suga could tell Kageyama was thinking, likely pondering over the wording of what he wanted to say.

He waited, admiring the view of the pond.

Until finally, the silence was broken, by a deep inhale.

"Could I..." he trailed off, seeming to immediately lose his confidence, "could I share a few things with you?"

The older boy smiled softly, "of course you can."

The first year pondered for a few seconds more, before eventually finding his resolve again, and stuttering his way through a variety of explanations.

Each of them detailing different parts of his life.

His very difficult life.

Every time the boy finished going over an incident, Suga found himself begging that there was no more to be said. That it would be the last of these horrible experiences that Kageyama had had to deal with.

It was not the conversation he was expecting to have that evening. But although his heart was shattering for this boy, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly happy that he'd felt comfortable enough to discuss this with him. Kageyama trusted him with this information. And that was astounding in itself.

By the time the younger boy was finished, Suga could see the shine of tears in his eyes. He offered Kageyama a hug.

Surprisingly, he accepted.

And from that day forth, Sugawara vowed that he would be the best senpai he could possibly be for this boy. He told himself that he would be there for him, no matter what.

And he was.

For a few weeks.

Until the collision happened.

And he watched Kageyama and Hinata go careening to the floor.

Heard the pained yelp that left the ravenette's mouth.

Kneeled next to the boy's head as he sobbed.

He'd held him then.

He stroked his hair as he cried, delirious in his agony.

He'd held his hand in the ambulance, as he gasped for air, his ribs pressing against his lungs.

He'd stayed when they were told he was taken into emergency surgery.

He'd stayed through the complications.

He'd stayed through the hours.

He'd stayed as they waited for him to wake.

He'd stayed so he could visit the boy, and reassure him that he wasn't going anywhere.

He'd stayed through the tears.

Through the sorrow.

Through the fear.

He'd stayed.

He didn't leave him.

Sugawara refused to let him down.

But he couldn't help but feel that he was.

Playing in matches now was still as exhilarating as it was before, but it had a new feeling attached to it.

Guilt.

A pair of icy blue eyes stared from the side of the court, aching to once again step onto it, and play the game he'd loved for so long.

Kageyama just wanted to play volleyball.

And even though he knew he shouldn't, Suga couldn't help but feel an overwhelming guilt gnawing at his insides whenever he made eye contact with his kouhai.

He hadn't earned this. He was no more skilled than he was when he'd stepped off his mantle of starting setter. The only reason he was here was because Kageyama had been injured.

But the worst part was, he was _enjoying_ it.

Despite the guilt, despite everything he'd witnessed on the day of the ravenette's injury, it was exhilarating to finally be able to play again.

He found himself unable to meet his kouhai's eyes. His miserable, tired, and sad eyes.

Suga had never felt so horrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suga chapter suga chapter suga chapter suga chapter  
> we finally have a pov from one of the team members that isn't hinata. And surprise surprise, it's suga.  
> I wanted to explore basically how suga would respond to all of the shit that's been going on recently, (the second chapter is gonna delve more into that don't worry, this chapter was mostly just set up tbh) and i think he'd be feeling pretty shit about all of it. mans was jealous but now he just feels bad lol  
> this chapter was literally entirely angst but i promise the next one will be better  
> tbh i am real sad and shit atm so i think my work is kinda reflecting that rn, not to mention how much i'm actually writing. honestly i have no idea when the next chapter will be out, but hopefully within the next couple of weeks. for now, this'll have to do  
> thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave kudos or a comment, they fuel my writing :)


	2. Apologies and remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga talks to Kageyama, and Kageyama remembers his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoy!

"Senpai? You wanted to talk to me?"

"Ah, Kageyama! C'mon over here for a sec."

It was the early hours of Friday evening, and the team had gathered at Sakanoshita shop after practice as usual.

After his illness, Ukai and his mother had restricted Kageyama to remain in the house for at least a week, so they could make sure he was genuinely healthy again before he went rushing back into attending practice every day. Just walking around so much still took slightly more energy than it should've, even more so after he'd gotten sick.

This was the first day that the entire team had been permitted to see him for a fair while now. Of course, Hinata had still been visiting every day, and there was no doubt that he was going to hang around for a little longer even after everyone else had left. But it had been around a week or two since he'd seen everyone else.

Kageyama was excited.

Much as he didn't exactly favour large groups of people, he'd found that he didn't mind so much with the team. They were idiots, and they were loud, rambunctious and had far too much energy.

But at the same time, they were patient, and respectful and friendly. And they _cared._

It took a while for Kageyama to see.

But they did.

And today, the whole team was visiting again, and he was the centre of attention for a few moments as they asked their questions.

_Are you okay? Are you feeling better now? Have you been eating enough? Sleeping enough?_

And then they backed off into smaller conversations, taking the attention off of the ravenette just as quickly as it had been put there. They were respectful. They knew he loved attention in volleyball, but anywhere else, it would make him feel cornered and uncomfortable. Like a cat in an alleyway.

Daichi had approached him a few minutes prior, letting him know that Sugawara wanted to talk to him. Kageyama questioned what it was about. Daichi shrugged, but assured him he wasn't in trouble. The setter hoped he was correct.

The boy carefully wandered away from the doors of the shop and into the glow of the streetlamps, walking around his team and thanking those who moved out of his way as he went. He lowered his volume as he reached Suga's side, "was there something you needed, Senpai?"

The smile on the older boy's face tightened, "not needed, per say. I just wanted to say a few things to you."

Kageyama blinked, confused.

"Um," he struggled for a response. What on earth could Suga want to talk to him about? Despite Daichi's earlier assurance, he couldn't help but feel anxious. What if he _had_ done something wrong?

"Would you like to come inside, then? It's warmer in there."

His Senpai smiled softly, "that would be lovely."

As they made their way back to the doorway, their captain announced that it was getting late, and at that a few people responded they were leaving for the night, and began saying their goodbyes.

Kageyama flitted his gaze over the group, searching for his red headed boyfriend in the crowd that was quickly decreasing in size. He'd barely gotten a chance to talk to him today, and he was silently hoping he was planning on staying over for the night. It was only when the short spiker started bounding over to the two setters did he notice him. A blinding grin was plastered to his cheeks as he parted ways with the rest of the first years. To Tobio's surprise, his expression seemed to falter when his eyes laid on him.

"Tobi- I mean, Bakageyama!"

The ravenette saw Suga smirk out of the corner of his eye.

"What, dumbass?"

"What the hell are you doing out here in the cold without a coat on? You're gonna get sick again!"

Kageyama scowled, though he was inwardly elated that Hinata was taking the time to even care about such a little thing. So _that_ was why is face had fallen.

"I am not going to get sick again. Besides, you're barely wearing anything either."

The red head glanced down at himself and scoffed, "I'll have you know I am wearing four layers of clothing. _Four._ That's three more than you, dummy."

The two glared at each other for a few moments, and Kageyama could feel Sugawara's tense stare glancing between them.

That was until Hinata's facade cracked, and he let out a strangled chuckle that he was clearly trying and failing to hold back.

Kageyama felt the laughter bubble in his throat before he too was giggling, his own glare going soft as Hinata stepped towards him enveloping him in a hug. Kageyama huffed, smiling, "dumbass, Sugawara-san is right there."

"Well he could've just seen it as a friendly-embrace-between-rivals until you said that," even with his words muffled against the taller boy's shoulder, the smile was still heard in his voice, "besides, you've gotta stay warm somehow."

The ravenette rolled his eyes, "my saviour."

Hinata pulled back, his arm still wrapped around the taller boy's waist, and his lips still upturned, "What would you do without me?"

Tobio was about to retort, until the sound of a throat being cleared reminded him that his Senpai had been watching them the whole time.

The pair quickly turned to find Sugawara smirking knowingly. Kageyama was sure that both he and Hinata had turned bright red, as the shorter attempted to stutter out an apology. Suga raised a hand to silence him.

"It's fine, you two," he smiled warmly, rubbing the back of his neck, "I think most of the team kinda knew you were dating anyway."

He made his way towards the door of the shop, gesturing for the pair to follow him, "besides, it's nice to see you two acting so close. It's sweet."

It appeared the two had completely different reactions to the praise, as Shouyou was now beaming, while Tobio had been reduced to a blushing, stuttering mess.

Shouyou glanced up at him, and chuckled, taking the taller boy's hand in his own, before guiding them inside behind Sugawara.

Kageyama hurried to change the subject, "so, you wanted to talk to me, Senpai?"

The same tight smile from when the younger setter had first approached him reappeared on his face, "I did."

"Oh, is that what's going on?" the red head questioned, "I'll leave you guys to it then."

"I'll be upstairs in a bit," the ravenette replied.

The shorter boy gave him a gentle half-hug, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close for a moment, before moving away again and making his way to the back of the store, where the entrance to the actual house was.

"Call me or Ukai if you need anything, I'll be in your room or the kitchen, Tobes."

"Got it."

And with that it was just the two setters.

"'Tobes'?" Suga smirked.

"He has a stupid amount of nicknames at this point. That one is one of the better ones," even with his reasoning, the ravenette still blushed slightly.

The older boy laughed, "like I said earlier, it's sweet. I'm glad you two have such a close relationship," he hesitated, "It's clear you both care about each other a lot."

Kageyama smiled, humming.

Suga offered no reply, and with that, the topic was dropped. Tobio knew the next part would be finding out what his Senpai wanted to talk to him about.

The anxiety from earlier returned.

Sitting down at the table at the front of the shop, they let themselves fall into silence for a moment. The younger boy had a feeling Sugawara was thinking over what he was planning to say.

He was reminded of the first time they sat on that bench, the one overlooking the pond.

When Sugawara had first brought him there he was rendered speechless.

It was a beautiful area, completely overgrown and covered in nothing but green. It appeared that no one had been there in years.

Despite it being so poorly looked after though, it was still astounding. He'd felt like he was intruding on some kind of secret garden, on some sacred, forgotten ground that no one had even known existed.

It looked as if there had been a path there at some point, winding around the edge of the pond, leading back off into the distance, probably to rejoin the modern world.

The pond itself was covered in a layer of algae and lily pads, some with small, pale flowers that Kageyama could only assume were lilies atop them.

Weeds coming up to his hip grew around the edge of the water, a rustling sound carrying with the wind every time they shifted even the tiniest bit.

Messy and unkempt, the grass was littered with the pinks, whites, and yellows of flowers that most would consider weeds. Tobio never really understood how something so pretty could be thought of as a weed.

He was reminded of his sister, who used to drag him out into the garden when he was only just big enough to remember, and she'd teach him how to make chains with them. Miwa would ask him to thread some into her braids, and in return she would try and weave some into his own short hair as well.

They'd come back inside as the sun began to set, and Kazuyo would chuckle and compliment the two of them, telling them how pretty they looked. Tobio would always beam at the praise.

The centre piece of the area though, was the gargantuan blossom tree hanging over the back of the pond. In flowering season, it would replace the green of the area with a bright candyfloss pink, almost blinding to the eye.

They had one of those in the garden too.

It was still there today.

Though Tobio hadn't been there in a while.

He missed sitting in that garden.

One of the only two signs of human life in the entire meadow was a rope swing suspended from one of the branches. The rope itself was entirely worn down, and it looked about old enough to crumble to dust if Tobio even laid a finger on it.

The only other sign that people had been there at some point was the bench, which also looked old enough to fall apart. It sat just in front of the path, overlooking the entire meadow.

He almost yelped when Sugawara plonked himself down on the old wood, both wanting to preserve the area, and concerned that Suga would fall down with the bench. But alas, both the bench and his Senpai stayed upright, and the older boy encouraged Tobio to sit with him.

And he did. Albeit much more carefully.

And that was how their friendship began.

It was rather poetic, really.

How Sugawara had slowly brought down his walls piece by piece, by bringing him to this place time and time again, and just spending time _talking._

It had been a very long time since he'd been able to talk like that.

Sure, he'd been able to talk with Kazuyo, but after he got sick, he was just tired all the time. And though Tobio talked, he knew that Kazuyo wasn't really listening.

He didn't have the energy to listen anymore.

Tobio didn't blame him for that though. He was all too aware that it wasn't his fault. He knew that if Kazuyo had a choice in the matter, he'd take in every word, nodding and humming along. And when Tobio was finished, he'd dish out the best advice he could, and wrap his grandson in the biggest, warmest hug possible, and just _hold_ him, for however long the boy needed.

Tobio missed being held.

He missed Kazuyo.

He was beyond thankful for all of the things his friends had done for him in the past few months. The ravenette hadn't been this happy in so very long.

But even still, no matter how many good things his life had now been filled with, nothing would ever completely take away the hole where Kazuyo once stood.

Sometimes he'd take a step backwards to admire and appreciate what had been made of his life.

And sometimes he'd take one too many steps, and he'd go tumbling back down into that dark chasm. Back into the deep, bleeding tear on his heart.

Kazuyo had been everything.

He was always there, no matter what. No matter how much everyone else hated him, his Grandfather had never left his side.

Even in the lowest moments of his illness, when he was nothing but pale skin wrapped around a skeleton, wires poking out of every part of his body.

Even then, Tobio could still see something there.

Even if Kazuyo didn't have the strength to listen, there would always be that little sparkle in his eyes, reminding his Grandson that he was _still there_.

And then at the end of practice one evening, while he was changing, Tobio received a call from Kazuyo's phone.

A doctor was on the other end of the line.

He'd raced to the hospital, his legs burning as he finally burst through the doors, demanding to know where his Grandfather was. But sprinting through the halls, eventually reaching the correct room, he'd found himself just too late.

The ringing, one toned sound of a flatline pierced through his heart, and left him bleeding to this day.

Kazuyo wasn't there anymore.

No one was.

And then there was Tobio.

Left with nothing but an empty house, and a bleeding heart.

And when the sound of a ball hitting the ground behind him- _mocking_ him- joined the resounding, never ending beep in his nightmares, he was left with his body telling him to give up.

To just... stop.

So he did, for a little while.

He just moved through life wherever it would take him.

He floated.

Until Karasuno grounded him.

Tobio often wondered whether Kazuyo would be proud of him. He'd stand at the head of his grave and ask him.

Of course he'd receive no reply.

And he knew he'd never get one. But he asked anyway.

He liked talking to Kazuyo.

If he tried hard enough, he could imagine that he was sitting at his bedside, still in the hospital. And his lack of responses was just because he was too tired to talk with Tobio.

But he was getting better.

And soon he'd be able to talk again.

If he tried hard enough, he'd be able to imagine _that_ when he was sat leaning against his headstone at stupid hours of the morning, instead of facing the reality that his Grandfather was-

Gone.

That he was gone.

And he was never coming back.

He was never going to get better.

Tobio often wondered whether Kazuyo would be proud of him.

He hoped Sugawara wasn't about to scold him.

He doubted he would, as Kageyama couldn't think of a single thing he'd done wrong. However, there was still a whisper at the back of his mind, reminding him that he didn't have to do something wrong to be scolded.

It sounded oddly similar to Oikawa.

It had to have been a minute or two since they'd sat down now, and the ravenette was beginning to wonder how long it would be until Suga had fully gathered his thoughts. He was about to question his Senpai, when the older boy finally took a deep breath and spoke up.

"I wanted to apologise."

Kageyama's eyes shot wide open, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"You wanted to... what?"

"I wanted to apologise," Suga repeated, "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry, for taking your spot as starting setter."  
And then he bowed. His Senpai _bowed_ to him.

"Senpai, why on earth are you sorry for that?"

He didn't rise before continuing, "despite knowing the circumstances in which you have been forced to leave the court, I've had the audacity to enjoy my time playing, even while you've sat to the side watching the whole time," Kageyama could hear as the older boy's voice became thicker, though he still kept his face hidden from view. Not to mention how formal he was being all of a sudden.

What the hell was happening?

"Senpai, you don't need to-"  
"So, I'm sorry, Kageyama. I am so, so sorry," he swallowed, "I've been a terrible Senpai and a horrible person and I-"  
"Sugawara-san."

Suga's head shot up at that, revealing the tears pooling in his eyes.

"You-" Kageyama's confusion had rendered him almost speechless, "you don't have to be sorry for any of that."

The older setter stared.

"My injury wasn't your fault, Senpai. It wasn't anyone's fault," he paused as Suga glanced downwards, wiping at his eyes, "and I'm _glad_ you're enjoying yourself as starting setter. You should be."

His Senpai sighed softly, "Kageyama, I-"

"The circumstances in which I was forced to leave the court were not your fault," he quoted, the formal phrasing feeling odd on his tongue, "and if I were in your position, I would probably be enjoying myself too."

Sugawara stared again, and Kageyama wondered if he had said something wrong. That was until the older boy barked out a sudden laugh, standing up, and in one quick motion he marched around the table and pulled the ravenette into an embrace.

Feeling incredibly out of his depth, Kageyama slowly returned the hug, "Senpai?" He questioned softly, concern leaking into his tone, "are you okay?"

"You know," Suga started, his chin resting on the taller boy's shoulder, "you've gotten a lot better at this 'communication' thing."

Kageyama's eyes widened at that. He supposed it was true as well. He couldn't even begin to imagine himself at the start of the year attempting to comfort someone in the way he just did. Though he also supposed the comfort he had just provided still wasn't exactly _good_.

The older boy pulled away, but kept a firm hand on the ravenette's shoulder, crouching in front of him. He smiled as he wiped away his tears. And Kageyama couldn't help but notice the sparkle in his eyes. Was that what he thought it was?

"I am so proud of you."

_Pride._

The sudden swell of his heart brought the redness to his cheeks again, alongside the sting of water in his eyes.

"I- thank you, Senpai."  
"I'm glad I met you, Kageyama. You're a good kid."

He'd heard those words a lot in the past few weeks, but somehow, hearing them out of Sugawara's mouth meant so much more. The older boy didn't tend to hand out compliments that had such a deep meaning. Usually it was just the odd word of encouragement on the court.

But this... this was something else. Kageyama was so happy that his heart _hurt,_ and it was just because Suga said a few words.

It reminded him of how he'd feel when Kazuyo would say similar things.

"I'm glad I met you too, Senpai," he surprised himself with how quiet his voice was, almost brought to a whisper as he attempted to keep his tears at bay.

He gave up trying to stop them when Suga leant upwards to bring him into another hug.

"I am so, so proud of you," the older boy repeated, swaying the two of them slightly.

Kageyama let out a choked sort of sound, burying his face into the crook of his Senpai's neck, trying to hide himself away from the world.

Suga hugged just like Kazuyo.

And he let Kageyama stay where he was, safe in his arms.

He just held him.

Tobio missed being held.

\----------------------------------------

"What's got _you_ so happy?"

Kageyama wandered into his room, to find Shouyou sprawled across his bedsheets, staring curiously at the taller boy as he entered.

"It's nothing important."

"You- Mr grumpy- have just walked into the room with a dopey-ass grin on your face, and you're gonna stand there and tell me it's 'nothing important'?"

He parked himself on the edge of the bed, leaning back until his head was rested against the red head's stomach, "yep."

Shouyou started running his hands through the taller boy's hair, as Tobio let his eyes slip closed.

"Was it 'cause of what you and Suga-san talked about?"

"It was."

A pause.  
"That was kind of a prompt for you to tell me what you were talking about."

"That's too bad, then."

"Oh, come on! You're not even gonna tell your kind-hearted, bad-ass, handsome boyfriend?"  
"Nope."

Another beat of silence.

"Okay, I'm kinda more surprised that you didn't deny any of that, more than I am about you not telling me."

"Am I not allowed to think you're handsome?"

Tobio felt the shorter boy tense under him at that.

"Are you flirting with me?"

The ravenette chuckled, "not deliberately, but I suppose I am."

"This is not fair. Here's me trying to convince you to spill, and instead you're just flirting with me. Which you never usually do, by the way!"

Tobio just laughed harder.

The red head sat up, slowly edging the taller boy's head to rest in his lap rather than on his belly.

"This is completely unfair," he repeated, staring down at the setter, their faces inches apart.

"Is it, now," Kageyama smirked.

"You are acting all weird and happy and flirty and it is not fair."

"I mean, I can go back to being grumpy and horrible, if you want."

"Okay. First, shut up, you are _not_ horrible. And second, please don't."

Tobio closed the gap between them, leaning upwards as he pressed their lips together. The position hurt his ribs a little, but the stunned look on Shouyou's face was well worth the slight itch of pain as he pulled away.

"Seriously," the shorter boy shifted, cupping the ravenette's face and stroking a thumb across his cheek bone, "what the hell did you guys talk about to make you this happy?"

"You're still on that?" he replied, smirking.

"I wanna know for future reference."

This time is was Shouyou who closed the gap between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i accidently shoved a bit of kagehina at the end there whoops  
> this work was supposed to be entirely suga centric, but i tried writing this chapter to be suga centric and it was shit, so i re-wrote it as this, and i think its better. i hope it's better.  
> but anyway, kags is still sad, but he's also had character development lol, so he can actually talk to people now. well. he can talk to people a little better than he used to.  
> anyway, thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed! feel free to leave kudos or comments, they fuel my writing :)


End file.
